Group Impact-
Observers of exclusion scenarios may experience vicarious pain (Giesen and Echterhoff, 2018), with stronger guilt, anger, and sadness when witnessing marginalized groups’ exclusion compared to dominant groups (Petsnik and Vorauer, 2020) (9).
Findings suggest that when witnessing others undergoing social exclusion, males engage the brain areas related to theory of mind, while females show more emotional arousal and regulation. Men might approach situations of social exclusion with a more rational perspective, engaging in more top-down processing of contextual information, contemplating the source and reasons behind social exclusion. Conversely, women tend to be more emotionally responsive, displaying greater empathy toward socially excluded targets and triggering emotional resonance (Derntl et al., 2010; Iffland et al., 2014) (9).
Social exclusion involves both targets and observers, and the presence of observers can impact the targets’ psychological well-being, intensifying their pain (Hales et al., 2021) (9).
Targets exhibit lower rejection sensitivity compared to observers. Baumeister et al. (2009) suggest that social exclusion can induce emotional and physiological numbing, making individuals less sensitive to emotional stimuli and leading to delayed reactions. This numbing helps in reallocating cognitive resources away from painful information, similar to how animals release opioid-like substances to mitigate pain (Baumeister et al., 2009). Thus, compared to vicarious observers, those who directly experience social exclusion show greater emotional numbness and lower rejection sensitivity (9).
In a research study, participants earned money when they were rejected, but not when they were accepted. The payments did nothing to dampen the pain of exclusion. “No matter how hard you push it, people are hurt by ostracism,” he says.(6)
I remember dealing with mean children...gosh kids can be so cruel.
Two key factors are (3):
Difference – the ways in which your child may differ from their peers. Examples can include wearing glasses, academic ability, introvert vs extrovert personalities.
Home life – we are a product of our environment, and some children struggle to relate to others who come from different backgrounds. It can be as simple as the difference between coming from a large or small family, or as complex as social, economic, or ethnic diversity
Social exclusion is often the effect of a process of discrimination or ‘othering’ on the basis of cultural, social and/ or racial identity (7).
Research demonstrates that children identify with groups through gender, ethnicity, or language early in life and that individuals exhibit a desire to enhance their group identity and positively promote their in-group (Bennett & Sani, 2008; Dunham et al., 2011; Tajfel & Turner, 1979). This can lead to a desire to maintain homogenous social groups and can result in exclusion or rejection of those who do not share your group membership from your activities or group (Killen & Rutland, 2011; Levy & Killen, 2008; Rutland & Killen, 2015). (13)
I also started there in 3rd grade and was known as the new kid for years, because the rest of them had all been in the same class together since preschool. I was the only kid whose mom worked. All the rest were SAHMs and always available to chaperone field trips or volunteer at the school. I wasn’t an outcast by any means, but I was always aware that the other kids had more than me and that I was not really like them. By high school I was more firmly cemented as part of the group (only took a decade or so), but I never really lost that sense of being different.
Interpersonal exclusion involves rejection from individuals or the peer group because of individual differences, such as attractiveness (Leets & Sunwolf, 2005), or social deficits, such as temperamental characteristics, including being shy or withdrawn (Bierman, 2004; Rubin et al., 2006). Intergroup exclusion is marked by rejection by individuals or the peer group because of bias or prejudice regarding the victim’s group membership, including characteristics such as ethnicity, socioeconomic status, nationality, native language group, gender, culture, or religion (Killen et al., 2013; Killen & Rutland, 2011). (13)
Class, caste, gender, religion, language, geographic location, ethnicity, and disability, have combined to structure society. Social exclusion interacts with systems of inequality, poverty and globalization (7).
This is the product of bad parenting on the part of those excluding. I’ve watched it so many times. Usually the child being excluded is great at something the excluders are not, such as sports or school work etc or they are more physically attractive, all of this makes an insecure, aggressive child feel bad and they lash out.
Discriminatory processes may also be reinforced by religion, tradition and cultural practices and embedded in dominant social attitudes, behaviors and prejudicial practices. The causes and experiences of different forms of exclusion also combine into complex intersections, as people’s positions are shaped by their standing in relation to the multiple dimensions. People can this be at a disadvantage in one regard (e.g. women with regard to gender) but privileged in another (e.g. upper caste) (7).
Sources:
(1) https://carolinemaguireauthor.com/help-a-kid-who-is-being-ostracized-feeling-left-out/
(2) https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/how-to-talk-with-parents-about-cliques-and-exclusion/
(3) https://afineparent.com/positive-parenting-faq/social-exclusion.html
(4) https://psychcentral.com/health/why-feeling-left-stings-and-healthy-ways-to-cope#why-it-bothers-you
(6) https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/rejection
(7) https://gsdrc.org/topic-guides/social-exclusion/causes/exclusion-based-on-social-status-or-identity/
(8) https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/bullying-kids-teens
(9) https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1368214/full
(10) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22889163/
(11) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0190740924000148
(12) https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1184924.pdf
(13) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6085085/
(14) (https://conversationstoremember.org/loneliness-and-isolation/#:~:text=Loneliness%2C%20on%20the%20other%20hand,of%20a%20hostile%20social%20environment.)
(15) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022519321003581
(16) https://elifesciences.org/articles/78246
(17) https://educationdata.org/public-education-spending-statistics
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