There was a lot of information packed into this post:
https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/?s=Problematic+RomCom&submit=Search
So I'm going to do a series to split it up into smaller chunks.
It's Not Just Minorities: Men are Impacted Negatively
We might not think watching sappy romantic comedies could affect our concept of expectations between men and women.
Women, have you ever found yourself at a point where you sit and think, “Why aren’t all guys caring, romantic, falling in love with me, deliciously attractive, and willing to do anything for my love?” We have all been there. Personally, I am obsessed with romantic movies for how the girl gets the dream guy in the end. I feel that women can relate with me. However, are these movies messing with our perception of love and making our standards impossible for guys?
One could expect a few takeaways from a partner after indulging in a binge of romantic comedies. The first expectation is that men will change for you. Almost every woman dreams of transforming a grim man into the ultimate Greek god and perfect partner. Unfortunately, this is not reality; no one can change someone, especially a man who does not know what he wants.
Another expectation is that men are mind readers and know what we wish without communicating our needs. In 10 Things I Hate About You, Kat and Patrick never confess their feelings for one another until the very end. Kat writes a poem in class listing all of the things she hates about Patrick after they broke their relationship off due to Patrick not telling Kat how he feels. Communication is necessary to move on and improve our relationships.
Have you ever heard the saying, "if he wanted to, he would?". Well, this ties into the last takeaway, which is that all men will go out of their way to gain your love. Romantic gestures, intimate gifts, and flying across the states to ask you to marry him are all tactics we have seen in movies.
You see, romantic comedies haven't just made women create a false reality about men in their heads; it has also put them on this pedestal of who should be the “romantic one” in a relationship. Although some women would like to agree that a man should make the first move to be a romantic companion, women can too. In the movies, men don't want to be vulnerable and confess their feelings. Well, vulnerability must take place for romance because how else can your crush convey their feelings to you?
Sources:
https://www.thealinemag.com/entertainment-socialmedia/the-toxic-reality-of-rom-coms
https://womensmediacenter.com/fbomb/the-problem-with-rom-coms
https://movieweb.com/romantic-comedies-popular-why/
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/gallery/highest-grossing-romantic-comedies-419302/10-confessions-of-a-shopahloic-108333222/
https://www.34st.com/article/2021/02/romantic-comedy-diversity-bipoc-hollywood-representation
https://bouqs.com/blog/valentines-day-statistics-survey
https://business.yougov.com/content/45117-how-will-americans-spend-valentines
https://today.yougov.com/entertainment/articles/45146-americans-relationship-romantic-comedies-poll
https://www.movieguide.org/news-articles/who-goes-to-the-movies-4.html
https://www.jonathanwstokes.com/blog/2015/04/18/are-romantic-comedies-profitable
https://skoobywatchesmovies.com/recent-movie-news/2019/3/16/rom-com-bracket-vote-on-the-sweet-16-kj8bk-bg7nl-87f6x
https://www.mindlabpro.com/blogs/nootropics/neuroplasticity-rewire-your-brain-for-learning-memory-and-mood
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnins.2021.630829/full
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-16592-y
https://www.vice.com/en/article/3kxzpv/rom-com-queer-viewer
https://www.autostraddle.com/queering-the-canon-where-are-all-the-trans-rom-coms
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