I am going to attempt to untangle a braid of three songs in the following posts. I think in Mine, You Belong with Me, and Dorthea, I mean Tim McGraw, Fearless, and You’re on Your Own Kid are also related, but let’s not go too big all at once here! Anyway, in the trifecta of songs Taylor is talking to another queer (stay with me here, we’ll get into why I think that), alt-girl ex (well, situationship) who moved out of their small town to make it big, but isn’t living authentically.
Mine is from the Speak Now album, a very fanciful, dreamy princess album. The song is part memory and part daydream. I color–coded it so we can tease apart what happened and what is just in Taylor’s mind/wishes.
You were in college working part-time waiting tables
The green happened. Literally in the small town where both Taylor and this other person are located.
Left a small town, and never looked back
I was a flight risk with a fear of falling
I did yellow to denote ‘starry-eyes’ or dreams of bigger things, such as fame.
And there is a comparison here. The person that left the small town to follow bigger dreams left Taylor behind. The lavender color is for Taylor (Lavender Haze, if you will). She wanted to leave also to chase bigger dreams, but was afraid of failing, or floundering, or uncertainty.
Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts
I used the dark pink to show actual things that happened between these two people. This line has a negative connotation. It seems like present Taylor knows that this relationship didn’t actually play out as she’d hoped.
I say, "Can you believe it?"
As we're lying on the couch
I used a lighter shade of pink to show things between the couple colored by Taylor’s romantic hopes. They might have actually happened, but Taylor read into them more than perhaps reality. Or Taylor wished for more. In this line, Taylor is incredulous she’s laying on the couch with this other person.
The moment I could see it
Yes, yes, I can see it now
For Taylor’s daydream/hopes/romantic thoughts I used peach. After lying on the couch with this other person, Taylor’s mind constructs a whole romantic future of them together.
Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?
So literally lying on the couch with this special person Taylor’s mind goes back to a time when these two were actually together by the water.
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
These pink lines did happen, but Taylor might have felt stronger about it then the other person. She did something uncharacteristically displeasing to her parents. After Taylor shares touch with this person (she makes clear her parents would not approve of this) she thinks this person is the best person she’s ever been with. This experience/person is different for Taylor than every person she’s shared touch with before. What could the difference be?
Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
Remember the peach is the dreams/wishes in Taylor’s mind about how these two will have a future. This didn’t happen, but Taylor wished it would. It’s a continuation of the fantasy life Taylor’s mind is constructing while lying on the couch.
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes
The red is problems.
Taylor shares secrets with this special person. She tells the person what her walls are. It’s giving baby-gay. Taylor is also cautious of love because her idealized inspo of what love should be was her parents’ relationship, which has now ended badly. She discloses she’s worried about divorce, because if her parents can’t make their marriage work, who could? Remember, Taylor has a fear of falling/flailing/failure and it’s held her back before.
But we got bills to pay
Another problem this couple faces is paying bills. Even Taylor’s daydreams deal with practicalities.
And I highlighted ‘to pay’ in yellow because money might be a big reason for leaving town and working and becoming famous and whatever else is required of celebrity.
I know I said I wouldn’t introduce too many songs into this because it’ll be too complicated, but I promise this is just a couple of lines.
I’m thinking ahead to Dorthea’s starry eyes and You’re on Your Own, Kid when Taylor sings, The jokes weren't funny, I took the money/My friends from home don't know what to say. Which is an exact example of what the bills to pay in Mine is getting at. This couple has to do things they might not like, and their hometown wouldn’t approve of in order to make money.
We got nothing figured out
This line is both literal, as in this couple doesn’t know what to call themselves, how serious this touching is, or where this is going, and in Taylor’s daydream the couple hasn’t figured out the logistics of their arrangement.
When it was hard to take
When Taylor’s life was difficult, when the real life relationship was under fire because people throw rocks at things that shine, [Sorry, there’s a seventh related song, Ours, that we will not discuss further in this post] and when Taylor is daydreaming about the couple’s future, she thought about the good times by the water. The moment the other person finally put their arm around her, and Taylor experienced something completely different then she had before. That is the time Taylor’s mind keeps glorifying and going back to.
Yes, yes, this is what I thought about
It’s in peach again for Tayor’s dreams/wishes. That was the fantasy life Taylor dreamed of while physically lying on the couch with this person who made a rebel of her via their touch.
Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Here, Taylor is reminding the other person of that special moment, trying to persuade them through sentimentality that what they have is special.
Do you remember all the city lights on the water?
This is Taylor trying to further convince the other person to be a part of Taylor’s dream plan. The green is Taylor jogging the person’s memory to an actual time they shared. She is telling the other person they can be a couple in the city (vs. the small town they literally are) and with the fame. The yellow is showing dreams of stardom or bigger things. And she’s trying to share her dream with the other person and show them they can have the special moments, in a bigger town, with the fame/fortune.
You saw me start to believe for the first time
Taylor reminds the other person that their special moment by the water was transformational for her. After being touched by this person Taylor felt real love, even though she knew they’d be dead if they knew about this difficult love [OK, you got me, This Love is also related to this situationship].
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Taylor wants the other person to remember that she let down her walls and it led to the beautiful realization that this person was the most special in her life. Taylor wants the other person to feel that way too.
And I remember that fight
Two-thirty AM
As everything was slipping right out of our hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street
Braced myself for the "Goodbye"
'Cause that's all I've ever known
Bad things are threatening this couple’s relationship. Taylor left the other person’s presence, expecting the worst, because that’s what has happened every previous time bad things happened in her relationships.
Then you took me by surprise
You said, "I'll never leave you alone."
You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine."
These lines are tricky because the listener has to decide if they literally occurred or do they take place within Taylor’s daydream? Money problems and a fight? Even Taylor’s daydreams are realistic, I guess hence the whole songwriting career.
I suggest that the second, third, and fourth lines of this song give us the answer: Left a small town, and never looked back/I was a flight risk with a fear of falling/Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts. Right at the beginning of the song, Taylor talks about the couple going in different directions. The other person literally moves out of their small town to possibly (or figuratively) make money being famous. And Taylor was afraid of failing and disappointing people so she stayed behind in the small town (or figuratively repressed that part of herself).
Because love never lasts.
So these last lines of the song talking about the other person embracing and reciprocating Taylor’s romantic feelings, are part of Taylor’s dream of what she WISHED would have happened. In her daydream the other person said they’ll never leave her alone because Taylor is the best thing that ever happened to them (also).
Hold on, make it last
Hold on, never turn back
The hold ons serve two purposes: Taylor is asking the other person to make their moment lying on the couch last just a little longer. She wants their romance to go on a bit more. Secondly, Taylor is trying very hard to keep the fairytale of the true love and outcome she wished for fresh in her mind. Taylor wants her daydream of a better outcome to last longer.
(Hold on)
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
(Hold on)
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Taylor is saying this touch by the water was a super big deal for her. She really went out on a limb. And the result was falling in love with this other person.
(Hold on)
Yeah, yeah
Do you believe it?
Taylor is still persuading the other person lying on the couch. And in present times, after this song is written, she’s asking herself if she still believes in this dream relationship.
(Hold on)
We're gonna make it now
(Hold on)
And I can see it
(Yes, yes)
I can see it now (see it now, see it now)
These lines in peach are Taylor trying to persuade the other person to also believe in these romantic dreams and strive for the same loving future she is imagining.
She’s also convincing herself to hold on to the hope that she can still have a happily ever after one day. Despite the situationship ending, Taylor ends Mine on a positive note full of hope for her future.
The songs Mine and Dorthea, from evermore in 2020, are related. And I color coded this one in the same way to show the similarities:
Hey Dorothea
Why the name Dorthea? Is it an actual person? Is the name symbolic? We’ll address this more fully in a second, but here’s a quick summary from AI describing ‘Friend of Dorthy’ which Taylor literally writes herself as in this song:
I believe Taylor is referencing this other person leaving the small town they both grew up in for bigger dreams/fame.Left a small town, and never looked back/
I was a flight risk with a fear of falling. And in Mine the person Taylor wanted to have a relationship with left her and their small town for bigger dreams, while Taylor was too afraid and stayed behind.
Aside from the location of both songs, I think the type of relationship in both songs is similar. In Mine Taylor talks about touching this other person would upset the adults, but she likes it and wants their romance to continue. You put your arm around me for the first time/You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter/You are the best thing that's ever been mine. And as we’re about to get into, in Dorthea, Taylor alludes to her and this other person rebelling against proms and pageants.They were pushing back against their parents’/town’s heteronormative expectations in both songs.
I think we can see the similarities between Mine and Dorthea. Now let’s talk about the title of this song. If Taylor is talking to a person she had to sneak around with (discreetly UNDER the bleachers rather than sitting in plain sight) it might be because they’re both girls. Hence the touching making a rebel out of a careless man’s (we all read Scott’s emails, right? 😳) careful daughter. But why is this relationship persecuted?
Using Dorthea (friend of Dorothy) as the title of this song talking to a person Taylor snuck around with, a person who’s very touch made Taylor a rebel, is exactly a subtle way to address another queer person without revealing either one’s queer identity.
And I’ll just leave this here:
Do you ever stop and think about me?
When we were younger
Down in the park
The green happened. Taylor is asking that other person from Mine, the one that put an arm around her by the water, and also laid with Taylor on the couch, if they ever think about her. The person had left their small town (and Taylor) for better things.
Honey, making a lark of the misery
I used the dark pink to show actual things that happened between these two people. Taylor now describes whatever romance/situationship/dalliance as much more casual then she’d hoped and dreamed when it happened (during the song, Mine). Now, Taylor knows that outcome was short and funsy, not the serious happily ever after she’d daydreamed at the time.
This person and Taylor had some light, superficial fun during a bleak time (the red) in their lives (living repressed and facing persecution in that small town).
You got shiny friends since you left town
A tiny screen's the only place I see you now
I did yellow to denote ‘starry-eyes’ or dreams of bigger things, such as fame. Since those small town days of Mine, this person has made it.
And I got nothing but well wishes for ya
The lavender color is for Taylor (Lavender Haze, if you will). Even though this person left Taylor’s life, Taylor is happy for them.
Oooh This place is the same as it ever was
Oooh But you won't like it that way
The green happened. I think it’s a call-back to the small town where both Taylor and this other person are from. The one with the park for sure, but maybe also the water they sat by where the other person put their arm around Taylor and the couch they were lying on together.
It's never too late To come back to my side
The stars in your eyes
Shined brighter in Tupelo
Is this other person in Mississippi in real life? Or is Tupelo symbolic of how this other person’s life has ‘played out’ (pun/double entendre intended). According to Wikipedia:
Tupelo has a deep connection to Mississippi's music history, being known as the birthplace of Elvis Presley. The city is home to multiple art and cultural institutions, including the Elvis Presley Birthplace and the 10,000-seat Cadence Bank Arena, the largest multipurpose indoor arena in Mississippi.
And if you're ever tired of being known
For who you know
You know that you'll always know me
Dorothea Dorothea
Taylor shows she’s open to re-meeting this person, she harbors no hard feelings for them leaving her (and their small town?) to chase their dreams.
Ooh, you're a queen Selling dreams
Selling make-up and magazines
Ooh, from you I'd buy anything
Taylor sings this part to show that this person sells things. The person sells tangible things like makeup and magazines, they also sell inspirational feelings to people via their product (if you buy this makeup you can be beautiful and therefore popular and successful and happy too).
Taylor indicates the person is persuasive. They are the queen of turning an image into sales (sound familiar to our capitalist queen?)
The last line could be a teeny amount of shade toward the person-from you I’d buy anything. Taylor might be hinting that the person is also selling themselves, chasing clout, convincing people they are something they’re not. And this could even be a comparison to the line in Mine, I was a flight risk with a fear of falling. Taylor is contrasting this person’s selling persona and success to her own fears that held her back.
Hey Dorothea
Do you ever stop and think about me?
When it was calmer
Taylor is obviously thinking about this other person that left her and their hometown. She wonders if likewise, they think about her.
She also contrasts their lifestyles again-when it was calmer. Taylor indicates starry eyes and city lights are exciting but maybe exhausting too. Being with Taylor and possibly coming back to their home town would be calmer and more peaceful.
Skipping the prom
Just to piss off your mom
And her pageant schemes
The red is problems. Taylor reminds the other person they were rebellious cowboys (so to speak) together. There were heteronormative, popular girl expectations placed on these two (do boys enter pageants?). And these ‘not like the other girl’, alt-girls pushed back against those expectations (instead choosing to throw stones in the water, dancing under the moon all night long, lying on the couch?).
And damn, Dorothea
They all wanna be ya
Taylor is incredulous, impressed, and maybe a bit jealous of this other person’s success and persona. And she indicates this person has fangirls.
But are you still the same soul
I met under the bleachers? Well
Taylor wants to know if this person still rails against heteronormative expectations. Would they still be rebellious together? Are they still compatible?
The bleachers tie back to You Belong with Me.
OK, don’t get confused but I’m going to throw a third song into this mix of related events. You Belong with Me from the Fearless album in 2008:
…'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do//And she'll never know your story like I do/But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts/She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers…Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans/I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be/Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself/"Hey, isn't this easy?"/And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town…You say you're fine, I know you better than that…She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers/Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find/That what you're looking for has been here the whole time/If you could see that I'm the one who understands you/Been here all along, so why can't you see?/You belong with me…and you tell me 'bout your dreams/Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me…All this time how could you not know, baby?/You belong with me, you belong with me/You belong with me/Have you ever thought, just maybe/You belong with me?/You belong with me
Is Taylor talking about the same person in Mine, Hey Dorthea, and You Belong with me? Mine takes place in Taylor’s small home town, and the other person in that song leaves for a bigger life/city/dreams, same as Dorthea did. Also, we have the park referenced in both Dorthea and YBWM. And in YBWM Taylor is NOT the cheerleader, but on the bleachers, and in Dorthea Taylor and this other person are under the bleachers. Same bleachers/high school/small town?
If not the exact same person, Taylor is talking about the same feeling: Transcending her small hometown/life and the heteronormative ideals there, and sharing love with this fellow alt-girl with the big dreams.
We’re going back to the lyrics of Dorthea:
Oooh I guess I'll never know
Oooh And you'll go on with the show
Taylor is wistful here. She’s disappointed they didn’t share the future as she had dreamed, but she’s not mad.
Though there IS some more subtle shade. The word ‘show’ is loaded. Taylor talks about the reality of this other person’s starry-eyed salesmanship continuing. And ‘show’ can be used to indicate this person’s new celebrity-persona is a put-on, fake, phony, tricking the fan girls (Cowboy Like Me?). Not authentic like a life with Taylor would have been.
But it's never too late
To come back to my side
The stars in your eyes
Shined brighter in Tupelo
Another fun fact from the Wiki:
Tupelo is the only city in the Southern United States to be named an All-America City five times, most recently in 2015.[11]
Miss Americana, anybody?
And if you're ever tired of being known
For who you know
You know you'll always know me
Dorothea Dorothea
Again, Taylor ends the song on a hopeful note: She tells this other Dorthea person they could still have a future together. If the other person finishes their clout-chasing, they can always come home to Taylor.
In braided fashion, this other person could be an actual ex from Taylor’s past. Also, this other person could be read as showgirl Taylor. Part of herself (poet) stayed behind living a smaller, quieter life, and part sold-out …I took the money/My friends from home don't know what to say
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